week five: one long shower
This week has felt like one long shower where I sit on the floor and let the water fall on me. It's been a bit of a week. I've held so much tension in my shoulders that it's near impossible to relax for more than a minute (I would know - I've been counting). To cope with any kind of stress, I do what I always do: I resort to doing something drastic with my hair.
I've made plans to stay on task and be focused and study, but I've been mostly sleeping and running errands. I also have plans for tomorrow that hardly include studying. I will get to it, though. I'm taking a break from writing cards on quizlet and looking at the study guide. I'm not sure what else there is to say of this week... It was a rough one. I've had feelings of constant sadness, where it ebbs and flows in intensity and I've just become so paranoid and anxious. I've not really been myself this whole week and I'm just riding it out, unfortunately bringing others on my emotional ride as well. I have constant thoughts of being single, not because I want to, but because I'm afraid that if it goes too far, I will end up alone. I go through an anxiety attack once a day and I've been tearful almost every day since last Thursday. This week was more emotion than anything and I'm just about done with myself. I'm looking forward to being able to sleep more than five hours a night and have appetites again. I feel like I'm losing a hold on myself and that might have partly to do with my love language, it feels like I need some part of my love language fulfilled every day which is pretty needy of myself. I'm conflicted between having my needs met, which are probably too much and unrealistically unattainable, and going a few days without my needs met because that's what anyone else would be doing and it's really stupid and childish to depend so much on a love language. That's what I've been thinking about the past few days.
I've got to head back and finish up on these quizlet cards before my exam on Tuesday, and I've got to submit two essays for one of my classes, as well as study for another exam on Thursday. Senior year, am I right? Adulting is hard... Especially when you feel less and less of an adult as time goes on...
well, back to it.
see you next week - same place, same time
I've made plans to stay on task and be focused and study, but I've been mostly sleeping and running errands. I also have plans for tomorrow that hardly include studying. I will get to it, though. I'm taking a break from writing cards on quizlet and looking at the study guide. I'm not sure what else there is to say of this week... It was a rough one. I've had feelings of constant sadness, where it ebbs and flows in intensity and I've just become so paranoid and anxious. I've not really been myself this whole week and I'm just riding it out, unfortunately bringing others on my emotional ride as well. I have constant thoughts of being single, not because I want to, but because I'm afraid that if it goes too far, I will end up alone. I go through an anxiety attack once a day and I've been tearful almost every day since last Thursday. This week was more emotion than anything and I'm just about done with myself. I'm looking forward to being able to sleep more than five hours a night and have appetites again. I feel like I'm losing a hold on myself and that might have partly to do with my love language, it feels like I need some part of my love language fulfilled every day which is pretty needy of myself. I'm conflicted between having my needs met, which are probably too much and unrealistically unattainable, and going a few days without my needs met because that's what anyone else would be doing and it's really stupid and childish to depend so much on a love language. That's what I've been thinking about the past few days.
I've got to head back and finish up on these quizlet cards before my exam on Tuesday, and I've got to submit two essays for one of my classes, as well as study for another exam on Thursday. Senior year, am I right? Adulting is hard... Especially when you feel less and less of an adult as time goes on...
well, back to it.
see you next week - same place, same time
Comments
Post a Comment